The grocery store

I left to pick up the kids in such a great mood. My daughter had just received her report card. It turned out to be straight A's and she gets paid $7 for every A (her grade level) just as my son did a few days ago and received $1 for all of his straight A's. He bought a giant Bakugon and he is still trying to teach me how to say that right. My kids are geniuses. Am I bragging? Yes! But give me a minute....

So like I said, I was in a great mood. Ms. Thang was receiving cash that I knew she was itching to blow since last week, and I needed to go to the grocery store. As I sat outside of her school, I imagined the conversation to go like this:

You got your report card today! ..I did? ...Yes! Open it!...Mom, I got straight A's!..Oh joy happy happy...Mom? Can we go to a store so I can buy some things (expecting me to say no)..Why YES we CAN!...hug hug love love!

And basically that is how it went. Beaming and proud, we pulled into Walmart. We have to pass Chic-fil-a on the way in and the kids love it. Being in a great mood, I announced, "We'll go through there for dinner after I get all the groceries.

"Yay" they all chant. Life is so perfect.

In the store just moments later:

"GO! Or I'll step on the back of your heels every time you go too slow!"

"thwip thwip thwip thwip thwip" --Stop hitting all the signs on the aisle! Hands IN

"Mom, Cutecumber just opened the ritz...Mom, Cutecumber just poked a hole in the pork chops, ...Mom, Cutecumber just ate a grape...."

"Can I have this cereal?"
"Can I have these chips?"
"Can I have a lunchable?"
"Can I get Big Red?"
repeat a bazillion times.....

"My legs hurt."

"I'm hungry."

"sigh...SIGH..SIGH LOUDER" .."What's wrong?"..."nooothhhinnng"

"You never let me look at the things I like to look at."

"Why does SHE get to buy stuff and I don't?"


But believe it or not, all three of them made it out alive. We pull into Chic-fil-a. Knowing we have a van full of groceries, I tell the kids they can either choose fries or a drink to go with their nuggets and I'm not buying meals. They could have a juice, apple, or salad from the house. I immediately realize how ungrateful my children are. I totally used the "There are millions of kids starving to death in Africa and you guys are crying cause you can't have a Sprite AND fries?" They were quiet for awhile, long enough for me to order while they listened closely and prayed I was only kidding about the limits, but when I showed I was true to my word, the van atmosphere grew thick with pouting and displeasure. I started plotting ways to make them more grateful. Most of them were illegal. I admit I was in a bad mood at this point. The lemonade helped. I swear to you, that is the best lemonade in town.

We get home and I let the kids start eating as I unload the groceries alone. I only put away the cold stuff and left the rest for after dinner. The kids were being pleasant. We always ask "What was the best part of your day?" followed by the worst parts and it was unanimous that the worst part was Walmart for all of us. Ms Thang shared a sip of her Sprite for one of the Scientist's fries. I was feeling like my kids had hope after all, until Ms. Thang asked me for $1000 to go to New York with her drama class. I literally laughed in her face. I won't even shell out the cash for a complete meal at Chic-fil-a!