Guess who's awake and showered at 8:00 this morning? MEE!
As my oldest would say, "The devil tried to stop me" with a few curve balls that would normally call for a pillow thrust over my head and the usual, "I'll start tomorrow" but not today! Of course I'll probably be a total bitch by 3pm, but in the big picture of life, it will be worth it.
Long winded self reflection in 3-2-1...
It's been awhile since I've worked for something. As a matter of fact, I've had so much free time, I've analyzed my entire life a million times over and I believe I can pin point what went wrong and why. You see, I haven't always been a fat, lazy, tired, stay-at-home hermit. Oh no. Before I met my current husband, I was in a little part of my life I'll refer to as the "Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll" stage. As fun as that sounds, it wasn't. I know people that call those years the best times of their life, but for me it was the darkest. Although, I admit I sometimes miss the lack of responsibility, I truly hated its fast pace and chaotic side effects.
When I met "My Honey" and later became pregnant with my son I not only left that life style behind me, I buried it deep deep DEEP in the ground. So deep, that I actually hindered myself. Where I had before been a social butterfly and hated being alone to deal with "real life", I had now become a social retard and my current life at home had become my everything. Very few friends, never getting out, and becoming the hermit I am today.
You know, it really was a good idea with good intentions, just not well thought out and then taken to the extreme. I'm glad I left most of that behind me, but I'm playing it too safe now. I enjoyed the mental break for awhile and probably needed it, but it's been too long and now I need to challenge myself. So, although the fast pace of a "sex, drug, and rock-n-roll" life wasn't for me, neither is this easy breezy cake walk of a life I've created either.
Now don't get me wrong. Being the mother of three has it's challenges and unexpected pepper-in the-fish-tank days, but the titles of "mom" and "wife" sum up everything that I am right now and I'm craving a little more. I can be more.
So although I'm having to take baby steps to change, I'm doing it. I'm working toward a goal and feels good. It's been awhile since I worked toward something and it's been awhile since I've done something so big for me.
So in conclusion, this long winded entry can be summed up with this:
I woke up early this morning on Day 1 and I'm feeling pretty motivated. I've taken the first step and that's always the hardest. :)