Monday, March 23, 2009

Day 1

Guess who's awake and showered at 8:00 this morning? MEE!

As my oldest would say, "The devil tried to stop me" with a few curve balls that would normally call for a pillow thrust over my head and the usual, "I'll start tomorrow" but not today! Of course I'll probably be a total bitch by 3pm, but in the big picture of life, it will be worth it.

Long winded self reflection in 3-2-1...

It's been awhile since I've worked for something. As a matter of fact, I've had so much free time, I've analyzed my entire life a million times over and I believe I can pin point what went wrong and why. You see, I haven't always been a fat, lazy, tired, stay-at-home hermit. Oh no. Before I met my current husband, I was in a little part of my life I'll refer to as the "Sex, Drugs, and Rock and Roll" stage. As fun as that sounds, it wasn't. I know people that call those years the best times of their life, but for me it was the darkest. Although, I admit I sometimes miss the lack of responsibility, I truly hated its fast pace and chaotic side effects.

When I met "My Honey" and later became pregnant with my son I not only left that life style behind me, I buried it deep deep DEEP in the ground. So deep, that I actually hindered myself. Where I had before been a social butterfly and hated being alone to deal with "real life", I had now become a social retard and my current life at home had become my everything. Very few friends, never getting out, and becoming the hermit I am today.

You know, it really was a good idea with good intentions, just not well thought out and then taken to the extreme. I'm glad I left most of that behind me, but I'm playing it too safe now. I enjoyed the mental break for awhile and probably needed it, but it's been too long and now I need to challenge myself. So, although the fast pace of a "sex, drug, and rock-n-roll" life wasn't for me, neither is this easy breezy cake walk of a life I've created either.

Now don't get me wrong. Being the mother of three has it's challenges and unexpected pepper-in the-fish-tank days, but the titles of "mom" and "wife" sum up everything that I am right now and I'm craving a little more. I can be more.

So although I'm having to take baby steps to change, I'm doing it. I'm working toward a goal and feels good. It's been awhile since I worked toward something and it's been awhile since I've done something so big for me.

So in conclusion, this long winded entry can be summed up with this:
I woke up early this morning on Day 1 and I'm feeling pretty motivated. I've taken the first step and that's always the hardest. :)


  1. The key to a successful, meantingful life is BALANCE. Too bad "balance" is so damn elusive!

  2. If I only had to balance one thing, I'd have it already lol. It's balancing my family, my self, my husband, my children, my mental stability, my happiness, my anger.... you get the drift. lol

    And I'm glad you're reading Katie cause if anyone is balancing a lot and doing well, it's you!


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