Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Glitter crafts and herpes

I somehow managed to piss off the Craft Gods. I blame you all. Remember when I asked for suggestions about what to do with empty glass bottles? Well no one responded and I was forced to come up with (aka google) my own craft ideas. I decided to do little snow globes out of baby food jars.

Seems easy enough right? Miss Thang has tons of little items that come as accessories to her Littlest Pet Shop collection and our ideas were really flowing. She opted for a small dog figure with glitter and tiny dog toys inside. The scientist decided upon a little Lightening McQueen figure and some tiny road cones..with glitter. I found a little plastic piece of coral, added a few aquarium rocks and a tiny fish bone for a morbidly funny tiny tank...with glitter.
It started off fine, but when I sent my honey to the store for glue and distilled water, he came back with gorilla glue and although I knew it was the wrong glue, I opted to go on with the project and hope for the best.
Well in the end, the glue had foamed up and leaked inside leaving blobs of tan bubbly goo along the glass and stuck on everything. I'd show you pictures, but its actually rather disturbing. I had flash backs of watching The Blob. Poor hobo never stood a chance.

Anyway, you would THINK that was the worst of it, but oooh no folks. There was a giant glitter mishap. In the blink of an eye, The Scientist dropped his globe, shattering it on the kitchen floor, but hitting the giant container of baby-fine glitter on its way down. Somehow the bottle managed to hit the floor right-side-up and SHOT the contents out into the air.

It was a million times worse than what you are imagining. Glass, water, and glitter as far as the eyes could see, and apparently water causes the stuff to multiply. Glitter will be a part of our lives for a long while. (And no this isn't karma for the Wesson Oil incident of 1980!) Here is a picture to give you an idea. This is the distilled water bottle that was on the counter about 5 to 6 feet away from where the glitter container landed. I think you can click to enlarge, but if not, it is finely coated in a light layer of glitter dust like it's been sun kissed by a Vegas tranny.

If you come over here, wear gloves and a face mask. It's more contagious than the Swine flu. You WILL catch it and spread it onto your friends.
My friend Jamie says glitter is the herpes of the craft world and how right she is. You never know when you might have a reoccurring outbreak. In the past 24 hours I can't tell you how many times someone has said "You have something on your lip/eye/face to which I scream out "I KNOW!" before they can even finish. It's taken its toll on me, it really has.

Plus you all know how the game "Telephone" works and before you know it, a friend will tell another that I am 29 for the third time and trying to wear glitter lip gloss to recapture my youth. Of course it will morph from there and someone will be calling to ask why I didn't tell them about my new late night hobby, dancing under the name Sparkles.

Ugh, I suppose there are worse things to catch than "The Glitter" so I didn't get the little booger in trouble. It truly was an accident. I did sigh a thousand times while cleaning the mess and must have layed a silent guilt trip on pretty thick because the boy brought me breakfast this morning.

He knows I don't like milk, but apparently he thinks I have a really big mouth. (That's a ladle)Can't really argue with him there.


  1. Hmmm Gorilla glue and water, sounds like a lava lamp and that sounds like something I would do on purpose. I must be truly twisted. I got Erin a shirt for Valentines Day that had just a little glitter on the outline of a heart and I was picking glitter for weeks.

  2. why do you think married men avoid the strippers with body glitter on.......

  3. I hate glitter too, it looks so pretty but I hate finding glitter stuck on everyones face days later. I hope it disappears soon. Othwise a great idea, maybe you could do it again but get plexiglass jars or something, it really looked fun.

  4. Mimi- It was more like toxic waste than lava lamp, and if you're into that you ARE twisted.

    Honkeie- Greeeat, my honey can get away with it for years and I would never know it wasn't our glitter.

    Deana- I do have some plastic pb jars. Now what can I use instead of glitter?

  5. Instead of glitter get the styrofoam peanuts and make little tiny pieces out of them.......they should work or maybe they would float, I dont know, I dont do the craft thing lol Poor Gavin had to feel bad and he is so sweet for bringing your big mouth a Ladle LMAO!!

  6. Crystal- if you laugh first you don't mean it!

    Cindy- I think those foam bits are just as bad as glitter lol


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